Thursday, July 4, 2013

Tzedaka During Davening by Rabbi Yair Hoffman

5tjt   They come from beyond the borough and enter into local shuls to collect Tzedakah.  Are there halachic guidelines and protocols as to when they can collect during Davening and when they cannot?  Is it permitted during Psukei D’Zimra or chazaras HaShatz?  Is it forbidden or permitted to give during these times?  The issue is the matter of much shul conversation debate.  So, at the very least, an article on the topic could lessen the amount of talking in shul.

We are working, of course, with the assumption that if one sees a real Ani, one is obligated to give him money.  This is the clear implication and understanding of the words of the author of the Shulchan Aruch (247:1).  It is also how most of the Achronim understand the Mechaber too.

Tzedakah is a full-fledged obligation to be supporting the poor – it is not optional.  One does not have to give an entire dollar, nor, according to many Poskim must one give to people that could theoretically be working.  One could, however, prepare quarters to give.  It should also be noted that if one does not have funds to give, this is not considered an Ones – it is a full-fledged exemption.

One issue, of course, that comes to mind is the idea of Osaik baMitzvah patur min haMitzvah – one who is involved in a Mitzvah is exempt from another Mitzvah.  The RaN (Sukkah 25a) rules that this principle is applicable even if it is possible to fulfill both Mitzvos with the one caveat that if it must affect the quality of the first Mitzvah being performed.  Otherwise, one should do both Mitzvos.

So are we truly capable of multi-tasking our giving tzedaka along with the davening that we were originally involved in?  The short answer would seem to be “no, we cannot effectively multi-task without compromising the first Mitzvah.”  All this is assuming that we are really concentrating on the Tefillah.  If we are not anyway, then it seems that the RaN’s caveat is irrelevant.   The consequences of this rationale are that if someone isn’t paying attention to the davening – then he could be approached and he would not be exempt.  If someone is paying attention then he is exempt. [...]

Grooming students for abuse at Horace Mann

New Yorker   When I was in high school, at Horace Mann, in the Bronx, in the nineteen-seventies, everyone took pride in the brilliant eccentricity of our teachers. There was an English teacher who slipped precepts from the Tao Te Ching into his classes on the Bible and occasionally urged us to subvert standardized tests by answering every question with the word “five.” There was a much loved language teacher who would pelt distracted students with a SuperBall. There was a history instructor who, in a lecture on how the difficulty of delivering mail in the early days of the republic helped shape Federalist ideas, would drop his trousers to reveal patterned boxer shorts.[...]

One group of boys stood apart; they insisted on wearing jackets and ties and shades, and they stuck to themselves, reciting poetry and often sneering at the rest of us. A few of them shaved their heads. We called them Bermanites, after their intellectual and sartorial model, an English teacher named Robert Berman: a small, thin, unsmiling man who papered over the windows of his classroom door so that no one could peek through.[...]

Berman could be mercilessly critical. He called boys “fools” and “peons” and scoffed at their vulgar interests in pop culture, girls, and material things. He was a fastidious reader of students’ work and a tough, sometimes capricious grader. He noted carefully who accepted his authority and who resisted. After he overheard one boy imitating him in the hallway, he covered the boy’s next paper with lacerating comments: “You used to be better.” On the rare occasion when a student earned his praise, he would be celebrated. Now and then, Berman would ask for a copy of a particularly well-wrought paper, which the boys took as the highest compliment; they called it “hitting the wow.” 

One afternoon in 1969, Berman announced that a tenth grader named Stephen Fife had written a paper that indicated he could be the next Dickens. Soon afterward, Berman asked Fife to see him after class. This was the ultimate invitation: personal attention from the master, who would go over a student’s writing line by line, inquire about problems with his parents, and perhaps tutor him privately in art history or Russian.[...]

Rishumei Aharon: New Rulings From Rav Moshe Feinstein Zt”l

5tjt by Rabbi Yair Hoffman   As a follow up to the previous reviews of both the Mesoras Moshe as well as volume nine of the Igros Moshe, a number of people (laymen, Poskim, and Rabbis) requested more information on the book entitled “Rishumei Aharon” mentioned in a previous review.  The Rishumei Aharon (Vol. I 92 pages and Vol. II 45 pages, beautifully arranged and typeset by Machon Daas Z’keinim in Lakewood, NJ) was written by Rav Aharon Felder, a Talmid Muvhak of Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l.

Rav Felder is the Rav of Congregation Bnai Israel in Philadelphia, and is the son of Rabbi Gedaliah Felder z”l from Toronto, a renowned Posek as well.   A responsa to Rav Aharon Felder, the author, appears in Igros Moshe YD Vol. IV #43.

Rav Felder spent 14 years with Rav Moshe Feinstein and spent much time with him during those years.   Rav Felder is a renowned expert in the laws of Gittin, and is often consulted upon in matters relating to Gittin such as the spelling of specific English names.  Aside from the rulings and halachic opinions found in the Sefer, there are some remarkable vignettes of Rav Feinstein zt”l – that are not found elsewhere.

Rav Felder is also known for his “tells-it-like-it-is” style (perhaps because of his Galicianisher upbringing), which makes both volumes very interesting reads.  There are also rulings that, in this author’s opinion are rather surprising.

VIGNETTES OF RAV MOSHE

The first volume begins with a number of vignettes of Rabbi Felder’s Rebbe.  Rav Felder relates that Rav Moshe told him once that while in Luban, he was married on a Friday afternoon. His own father was his Mesader Kiddushin – not just for him but for a few other couples as well.  Their sole Sheva Brachos was on Shabbos and no further Sheva Brachos, unlike the general custom prevalent today. [...]

Rabbi Berkowitz - advances in dealing with abuse in Chassidic community


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Wednesday, July 3, 2013

Refusing to apologize for errors - Short term benefits

Scientific American    [...] most apologies exact some toll on the offender, as it can be embarrassing to admit a mistake publicly or even to just one other person. And, as with Deen’s apology, the offender often suffers additional penalties as a result of the admission of guilt. Confession of a wrongdoing can damage a relationship, lead to loss of status or power, or even result in the termination of employment. These common costs may help explain the seemingly widespread reluctance to say, “I’m sorry.”  From politicians and professional athletes to friends and co-workers, denial of culpability is far too familiar.

Beyond avoiding the embarrassment and potential penalty associated with admitting a wrongdoing, new research by Tyler Okimoto and colleagues in Australia suggests that there are deeper internal motives for our refusal to apologize. Okimoto's research shows that those who refuse to express remorse maintain a greater sense of control and feel better about themselves than those who take no action after making a mistake.

Such findings may seem paradoxical, given the common wisdom that we should take responsibility for our actions and say we are sorry if we do harm. Indeed, research confirms the benefits of apologies for both victims and offenders. For victims, an apology serves as a form of moral restitution. When you apologize to a person you have offended, you convey a sense of power to that person. The victim can accept or reject the apology, and can extend or withhold forgiveness. As a result, the balance of power shifts from the offender to the offended.  Victims may assume a position of superiority when they take the moral high ground and offer mercy to the guilty party, or they may gain a sense of power over the transgressor by denying pardon. Thus for victims, the culprit's admission of guilt and contrition can be restorative.

There are upsides to apologies for the offenders too. By acknowledging personal mistakes and conveying remorse, offenders may diffuse anger and decrease the impending punishment or penalty, enhance their image in the eyes of the victim and other people, regain acceptance in a social group, or restore personal relationships. They may even reduce their own sense of guilt.

Given that apologies offer a relatively simple way to mend relations and heal wounds for victims and offenders, why do people refuse to apologize? Beyond escaping punishment, there may be some psychological benefits to standing one's ground. For example, adopting a self-righteous stance may feed one's need for power. If the act of apologizing restores power to the victim, it may also simultaneously diminish the power of the transgressor. Thus actively denying any wrongdoing may allow the offender to retain the upper hand . If one cannot deny an error entirely, minimizing the error may be the next best thing.  Perhaps one reason that many felt Deen’s apology rang hollow was that she attempted to mitigate the severity of her infraction by stating that she only made the racial slur once, with a gun pointed at her head. [...]

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Correcting the shame of the distribution of the disgraceful letter of 9 rabbis against Rav "S" at the Lakewood asifa of Lev L'Achim

 On Wednesday July 3 at 9:20 , there will be a major asifa in Lakewood of Lev L'Achim. This important event will be addressed by Rav Ezriel Auerbach shlita. Despite all the holy words that will surely be spoken - it is highly unlikely that what is truly required to be spoken about will be addressed. At the previous asifa in 2010 a document of shame and degradation was distributed that condemned one of Lakewood's most distinguished talmidei chachomim for being a moser - for reporting the abuse of his son to the police. It is embarrassing enough that the 9  well known rabbis signed this disgusting document against a father whose concern was for the welfare of Lakewood's children. However these expert rabbis apparently also didn't bothering checking out the fact that the father had in fact received a letter from Rav Sternbuch telling him that he was required to report the abuse. They were apparently ignorant of the elementary fact that even without receiving a psak from Rav Sternbuch and other gedolim the father not only had the right to report a child abuser but was obligated according to the views of the gedolei hador including Rav Eliashiv, Rav Wosner, the Tzitz Eliezer and Rav Moshe Halberstam.  Their ignorance of the halachos dealing with child abuse - as clearly described in Yeshurun volume 15 -  is truly shameful and embarrassing.

To compound their shameful ignorance - they have so far failed to apologize to the talmid chachom that they publicly attacked in their letter. 

It would be appropriate that the repentance letter of Reb Dovid Epstein be distributed at this asifa . Apology letter of Reb Dovid Epstein

===============================================

Elul, 5770 [August, 2010]

PROCLAMATION

It is clear that no one in the world has the authority to establish guilt on anyone without both [the accuser and accused] coming to an accepted bais din for the matter to be heard amongst "brothers." If one does this [establishes guilt without a determination of a bais din] even if he is "as tall as a cedar tree" [a great scholar] he has made an absolute error. And more so he [the accuser] may not take any damaging action against the accused and even more so may not bring any accusation to the secular authorities. Such actions [reporting made to the secular authorities] are elucidated in [Shulchan Aruch - Jewish code of law compiled in the 161h century] Choshen Mishpat chapter 388 [which discusses the penalties for "mesira" reporting to the secular authorities]. And there can be no [Jewish law] lawful and righteous means [to report to the secular authorities] other than to first show that one has in their possession a clear detailed ruling in writing from an expert bais din that includes specifics of the matter. And if one violates this ruling and commits the deed of reporting to the secular authorities it is incumbent upon him to rectify this misdeed and do everything possible to clear the accused of any trace of allegations with the secular authorities. And it does not need to be said that it is prohibited to assist and participate with them [the secular authorities] in their efforts to persecute a Jew.

Avrohom Spitzer Dayan - Skver

Tzvi Yosef Burstien - Rosh Yeshiva of Mesivta of Lakewood

Eliyahu Levine - Rosh Kolle of Kolle Choshen Mishpat

Shlomo Gisinger - Rabbi of Cong Zichron Yaakov

Chaim Ginsberg - Rosh Chabura - Beth Med rash Gevoha

Shmuel Mayer Katz- Dayan - Beth Med rash Gevoha

Yosef ZimbaI - Rabbi - Congregation Westgate

Simcha Bunim Cohen - Rabbi - Congregation Ateres Yeshaya

Meir Reuvein Berkowitz - Rabbi - Congregation Whispering Pines Sefard

Monday, July 1, 2013

A Sad Day - Rabbi Dr. Norman Lamm retires after a distinguished career at Y.U. - and apologizes for his handling of sex abuse allegations

YU In accord with an agreement reached 3 years ago, Rabbi Lamm's contract expired on June 30th and he announced his retirement  as Chancellor and Rosh Yeshiva of Y.U. He has had an association with Y.U. for over 60 years as a student, faculty member, rosh yeshiva, president and chancellor. In the 6 page retirement letter he devoted four paragraphs to an apology for  his inadequate handling of sex abuse charges in the 1980's.

In the Aleinu, mishtachavim is followed by modim, modim as in thanks. But there is another meaning as well, one that holds the key to real leadership and one upon which I reflect at this important transition in my personal and professional life. Jacob’s blessing to his son Judah, Yehudah, attah yodukha achekha (Gen. 49:8) literally means “Judah, your brothers will recognize you (as their leader).” However, the word yodukha, they will recognize you, is etymologically related to the word vidui, confession and therefore teaches us that only those who can, like Judah, confess, are those who can be acknowledged as real leaders.

And it is to this I turn as I contemplate my response to allegations of abuse in the Yeshiva community. At the time that inappropriate actions by individuals at Yeshiva were brought to my attention, I acted in a way that I thought was correct, but which now seems ill conceived. I understand better today than I did then that sometimes, when you think you are doing good, your actions do not measure up. You think you are helping, but you are not. You submit to momentary compassion in according individuals the benefit of the doubt by not fully recognizing what is before you, and in the process you lose the Promised Land. I recognize now that when we make decisions we risk, however inadvertently, the tragedy of receiving that calamitous report: tarof toraf Yosef, “Joseph is devoured,” all our work is in vain, all we have put into our children has the risk of being undone because of a few well intentioned, but incorrect moves. And when that happens—one must do teshuvah. So, I too must do teshuvah.

True character requires of me the courage to admit that, despite my best intentions then, I now recognize that I was wrong. I am not perfect; none of us is perfect. Each of us has failed, in one way or another, in greater or lesser measure, to live by the highest standards and ideals of our tradition — ethically, morally, halakhically. We must never be so committed to justifying our past that we thereby threaten to destroy our future. It is not an easy task. On the contrary, it is one of the greatest trials of all, for it means sacrificing our very egos, our reputations, even our identities. But we can and must do it. I must do it, and having done so, contribute to the creation of a future that is safer for innocents, and more ethically and halakhically correct.

Biblical Judah was big enough to admit that he was small. He confesses a mistake. He can experience guilt and confront it creatively. After the incident with Tamar, he does not offer any tortured rationalizations to vindicate himself. He says simply and forthrightly: tzadkah mimmeni (Gen. 38:26), she was right and I was wrong. And with that statement Judah is transformed into a self-critical man of moral courage. He concedes guilt. He knows that he is guilty with regard to Joseph, and together with his brothers he says aval ashemim anachnu, “indeed, we are guilty.” Pushed to the limits of the endurance of his conscience, he rises to a new stature and achieves a moral greatness that is irrefrangible and pellucid.

This is what I am modeh as I reflect on my tenure. Tzadkah mimmeni. I hope that those who came forth and others who put their trust in me will feel that faith vindicated and justified.  Modeh ani.
One might think it appropriate to mark the formal end of a career in avodat ha-kodesh with the recitation of Havdalah, the blessing which marks the end of the sacred period of holy days. Yet my whole career in avodat ha-kodeh has been one of havdalah.

Prohibitions Before Washing Negel Vasser – An Overview by Rabbi Yair Hoffman

negelvassercup5tjt     There are three things that should not be done before one washes Negel Vasser in the morning.
  1. One should not touch the open areas of the face before washing Negel Vasser on the  hands:  These are the mouth, the nose, the ears and the eyes.  This is based upon the Gemorah in Shabbos (108b) which indicates that there is a danger to these orifices on account of the Ruach Rah that exists on the hands before it is washed off.  The Gemorah gives a warning to other body parts as well, but Rashi explains that these areas do not refer to Negel Vasser but to other times.   There is a debate as to whether the outer sections maybe touched, such as the lips, outer nose, outer ear, and eye lids.  It is best to be stringent according to the Mishna Brurah (MB 4:12). [...]

Rabbi Adlerstein calls for less heated rhetoric and a greater understanding of the other side

Cross Currents   [...]  But is it fair to be conclusory about Piron? Should we not ask what kind of cultural ethos he wants to see. Does he want to cut of the peyos of residents of Meah Shearim? Does he want to lower the charedi birthrate so they won’t take over? Or does he want to see charedi soldiers in Tzahal (and DL ones, and secular ones) met with a smile and appreciation? Much more importantly – does it matter so much what Piron (a BT, rav and a ram!) wants? What kind of change is the voting public looking for? Is it fair to assume that they want what Piron wants? Should we not at least ask the question? No, I don’t think Rabbi Grylak is paranoid, but I think he is helping to ease his readership down the path of maximizing rejection of the other side, while paying minimum attention to their legitimate concerns and needs. [Aside: Last week, Hamodia put together an evening of messages on the topic by important speakers around the world. They did stay close to the predictable message, with one important exception. Rabbi Aharon Lopiansky of Silver Spring (a colleague on the editorial board of Klal Perspectives) spoke, among other things of the need to understand what the other sides is saying. He pointed to an Akeidah (Kedoshim #65) who says that women who truly care about their appearance use mirrors that maximize, rather than minimize, their blemishes. That way, they can better attend to them cosmetically. Listening to our critics, with their inflated language, helps us focus on our own faults. You can listen to his presentation by calling  718-650-6050  and selecting option 6.]

Rabbi Grylak asks in large type, “Does a demand for forced social change fit in with the concept of democracy as you know it in the United States?” Unfortunately, he picked the wrong week to ask this question. Rabbi Grylak, meet Justice Kennedy, who led the US Supreme Court in a massive exercise in social engineering last week. Rabbi Grylak also asks, “From a democratic point of view, do you see a possibility for the US government to dictate the nature of education in keeping with the American ethos? Can they do this in Satmar, in Lakewood?” Maybe it is time for another US visit, Rabbi Grylak. Indeed, that is the law of the land. Some may try to operate in violation of the laws mandating general studies instruction (even for home schoolers!), but the laws in fact exist. They uphold the need of a democratic society to assure that children are given both a chance at vocational success as well as share some information about the United States that is meant to bring about some social cohesion.

Like Yair Lapid, what I say I would like to see is not the same as what I would settle for as first steps along the way. Rabbi Grylak’s concession that over-the-top rhetoric by any camp leads to over-the-top reaction by the opposing camp is a good place to start, and I am happy to have been the shliach to make it happen.

And, to illustrate the complexity and nuance of life, I will recall for readers the time some years ago that I joined an Aguda mission to Israel. We spent some time in Knesset; I was chosen to deliver a message from the group at a meeting with MK Chaim Ramon. My piece de resistance was a beautiful appreciation of the role of the beis medrash and learning as the source of strength of the Nation. It was delivered with the apparent approval of the other participants. It was authored by Chaim Nachman Bialik.

Daniel Moaz - Found guilty of killing parents

Haaretz    A man was found guilty on Monday of brutally stabbing and killing his parents at their Jerusalem home, and was sentenced to two consecutive life terms. 

The Jerusalem District Court convicted Daniel Maoz on all the charges brought against him, including two counts of murder and destruction of evidence.  [...]

The judges compared the events that unfolded to "a horror film" as they noted that Maoz demonstrated no remorse for his actions. 

"At the very least, the defendant should have felt the requisite pain, guilt and remorse. Alas, the defendant did not regret his actions, and tried to slander his twin brother – a claim that was dismissed out of hand."[...]

Rav Yitzchok Scheiner - Yesh Atid and Bayit Yehudi are a “reform movement” that want to destroy Charedi Judaism

Guest post by RaP